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Hopefully by now you’ve seen the video of Governor Jim Gibbons being interviewed/surprised by the Las Vegas Now I-Team as he got home from the airport the other night.  If not go ahead and watch it here.

Okay did you watch it?  Good.  I know, we can’t believe it either.  How is this guy really the one making the decisions on which of our state programs to cut?  Further more, how did he even get elected?  We aren’t positive on either of these but if we were speculating on the latter we’d say he got elected based on an elaborate double dare.

To help you try and make some sense of this, the Nevada Spacesuit is presenting this, a play-by-play analysis of what is clearly the saddest (and most unintentionally hilarious) video since “Leave Britney Alone.”

0:02 – We start off with a bombshell as Gibbons gets off the escalator. He’s wearing his sunglasses indoors like he thinks he’s Stevie Wonder. On the step directly behind him we see his main squeeze Kathy Karasch.  Now I don’t know about you but if someone I know really well, say my like girlfriend, is on the step behind me I will notice her.  Keep this in mind as you listen to what he says next.

0:19 – A reporter (who we find out later is named Jonathan), approaches Governor Gibbons and asks him who he was travelling with on this flight. Gibbons responds with the can’t-be-construed-as-anything-but-no answer “What’s it to you?”. You can already see that the next five minutes are going to be filled with mature, gubernatorial conversation.

0:40 – After a couple more “What’s it to you’s?”  Governor Gibbons claims that taxpayers didn’t pay for “it”.  When pressed on who it was, Gibbons changes lanes without signaling and says that it was just him and security on the trip.

0:56 – After denying that Kathy Karasch was on the trip or plane with him, Gibbons alleges that she’s not even in the airport.  Remember earlier when we all agreed we would notice if our gf was on the step behind us we would notice? Apparently not this guy.

1:14 – Gibbons refuses to state unequivocally that Karasch isn’t in the airport and changes the subject back to the taxpayer thing again.  Likely because we were all confused by what unequivocally meant.

1:24 – The Governor of our state says that Kathy Karasch (or K-squared) being on a flight with him paid for by the state would be “impossible”.  When asked why this is impossible he says “because it wouldn’t happen.” Hmmmm, not totally sure he gets what impossible actually means.  For something to be impossible it has to be something that you can’t do, not something you won’t do. You see, I wouldn’t jump onto the football field during a game and take pee on the big N.  But, I could do it if I wanted to.  Something you would not do is different than something you could not do.  Like how a rational person wouldn’t vote for a guy who is not only a speech plagiarizer, but once said “tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, hippie, tie-dyed liberals [in Hollywood should] … go make their movies and their music and whine somewhere else,” adding, “it’s just too damn bad we didn’t buy them a ticket” to become human shields in Iraq. But he still got elected anyway.  See, not impossible.

1:32 – Jonathan: That wasn’t Kathy Karasch who came down on the flight with you?

Gibbons : No.

1:38 – We see Kathy Karasch walking to the baggage claim.  With the grace of Olympic medalist Evan Lysencheck she pirouettes away from the cameras and heads to the ladies room. Note that when she walks in she’s wearing a stylish white overcoat.

1:52 – After a few minutes of what had to be really uncomfortable creeping outside a women’s bathroom with two giant cameras  (no real way to not look pervy on that one), Karasch comes back out of the bathroom.  This time she’s wearing a brown jacket.  That’s right; K squared thought she’d duck the reporters by changing her jacket. Hey Kay Kay, do you know how the reporters knew it was you in the first place? Your face. Believe it or not they did not identify you by your jacket.  I can guarantee you that the RGJ has never ran a report with the headline “Gibbons sends over 800 text messages to a woman in a white coat”. Pretty sure they ran more along the lines of “Gibbons sends over 800 text messages to Kathy Karasch”.  So unless your plan for a disguise was donning a ski mask of some kind (inadvisable in an airport by the way), I’m not really sure what your angle was.

1:56 – Here’s where it really gets rough.  Reporter Jonathan begins interviewing K-2 as she borderline jogs out to the parking lot.  He starts peppering her with questions about where she was and if she was with the Governor. It’s here we find that K Dub has an interesting tell.  Every time she lies or tries to deny something, she starts off the sentence with “You know what…”. No fooling.  EVERY SINGLE TIME she’s denying something she says “You know what”.  Helpful tip in the event you find yourself in a game of high stakes poker with Kay Day.

2:38 – Starting off her third sentence in the last six with “You know what…” K squared claims that the reason she turned around to go back into the bathroom when the cameras got to her was that she probably forgot to wash her hands and she’s a very clean person. Two major problems with that statement. Firstly, did you go in the bathroom because you probably forgot to wash your hands or because you did forget to wash your hands? I know its late but this happened at most 5 minutes (or however long it takes to change a coat) ago, so you should remember why you went back in there.  Secondly, anyone who is a “very clean person,” does not forget to wash their hands when they exit an airport bathroom.  Some would argue that a “very clean person” does not even enter an airport bathroom.

2:47 – Getting Warm.  K squared throws out an absolute zinger by stating that maybe she was in Las Vegas (the origin of their connecting flight) because “You know what, I could’ve been in Las Vegas having tea with the first lady”. Hahahaha were Batman and the Pope at this tea party too? Because that had just as good a chance of happening. Here’s why that was a dumb thing to say:

1. Michelle Obama was seen at the Governor’s conference you didn’t go to so she wasn’t in Las Vegas.

2. You know who Michelle Obama did have tea with this week?  The Dalai Lama.  You don’t go from spiritual leader of Tibet to girlfriend of Governor with a 10 percent approval rating.  That’s like starting off the original “We Are The World” video with Lionel Richie and then doing the next one with Justin Bieber.  No one makes that transition (oh, wait…).

3:09 – She’s heating up.  After opening the trunk for no discernable reason K-K claims that the people of Nevada need to know that Gibbons is a “very honorable and trustworthy man.”  No comment on this one, there’s no way to make that statement more hilarious.

3:21- And she’s on fire!  Kay-Z brings it all home by saying “You know it doesn’t really matter who I spent time with.  I spent time with Arnold Schwarzenegger this weekend.  Does that matter to you?” Yes.  And you know why it does?  Because Arnold Schwarzenegger is not just the man who killed T-1000, he is also the governor of California.  Do you know where all the governors where this weekend?  That’s right, at the Governor’s Conference in Washington D.C.  Where you weren’t/totes were.

(Note, if Arnold actually sent a cyborg look-alike to the conference in his place and actually spent the weekend in the jungle with Apollo Creed killing Predators, and that’s where you were with him?  Then we apologize for everything and take the whole thing back.  You Miss are an American hero and we salute you. Buuuut, if you were both actually at the Governor’s Conference, than methinks we smell a fibber).

3:39 – A member of the Governor’s security detail helps the upset Karasch into the car.  Jonathan begins questioning him about what he’s doing, and he responds by saying, get this, “No comment”.  Jonathan pursues it and the agent walks away.  How is it that this guy is the only one who knows how to handle pesky reporters?  The Governor could have gone the same way and pleaded the fifth, but instead chose to straight up lie.  Has he never seen a cop movie?  Taking a step back, we’ve got to hand it to the security guard.  We actually feel bad for this guy, he’s just trying to do his job and help out the state of Nevada.  It’s not his fault the Governor wanted to bring his “good friend” to D.C. with him.  He’s just trying to help out and keep his head down.  We like him.  Plus, he reminds us of Jack from Lost so that makes us like him a little more.  If the election was tomorrow and only people featured in this video were running, we would definitely vote for this guy (or the scruffy guy holding the other camera, he’s got spunk).

4:20 – After yet another go around of the “was she with you?”, “she wasn’t in the conference”.  Gibbons walks up to THE SAME CAR K^2 got in and starts to load his bags.  Frankly I have to admit that at this point I was jealous.  You see, my girlfriend and I have a hard time coordinating our schedules, and we talk all the time.  But the Governor of our state and KK don’t have to.  They can not know where the other one even is for a whole weekend, stumble onto the same plane, ride down the escalator inches apart without even noticing each other, never say a single word to each other in the airport, and STILL end up in the same car. That my friends, is a level of coordination and planning abilities that I will just never have. So I want to take this moment to say: I’m sorry babe, I’m sorry we’re not as dialed in as Gibbons and his lady are.

4:39 – Gibbons keeps claiming Karasch wasn’t at the conference and Jonathan tells him that she claimed she met the Governor of California this weekend.  Gibbons takes a second to think about it, and then dead serious says “well she met him somewhere.”  It would seem the Governor is also unsure of just where the Kindergarten Cop was this weekend and may even possibly subscribe to our cyborg decoy/predator hunt theory.

5:11 – Gibbons tries to justify what he said earlier by claiming Kathy Karasch was not in D.C. and only joined him in Las Vegas.  Jonathan points out that this would still make his earlier statement that she was not in the airport a lie.

He then brings up the thing that we should be writing about, the fact that this week there is a special session to cut away $1 billion from Nevada’s state budget, a large piece of which Gibbons wants to come out of our University. When Jonathan asks him why he’s just now getting back from a trip on which he may or may not have been accompanied by a woman who was not his wife (because the divorce has yet to be legally finalized.  Classy.) the GibGov just loses it.  In what is probably his only candid moment of the interview, the Governor tells Jonathan that he is full of shit.

5,000 Question Survey Part 21

2001. Can you believe that we have only gotten through two fifths of this survey so far?
Yes i can.

2002. What is your opinion of Dave Coulier?
I have none

2003. If you were to a write a Choose Your Own Adventure book, what would it be about?
Who knows…..

2004. What was your best find from a flea market, garage sale, ebay or thrift store?
Some good books

2005. What do you not have enough money for right now?
A mansion

2006. Do you believe that Teras for Fears were right when they said, "Everybody wants to rule the world?"
yes

2007. What is the design on your beach towel?
I don’t have a beach towel, I use a pareo.

2008. What stirs something deep and animalistic inside you?
Anger.

2009. Have you ever cross dressed (even as a joke)?
no

2010. Do you own anything with a rainbow on it?
yes

2011. What would be the worst object for a child to take on a long car ride with you?
Something that makes noise

2012. What's the Best Beatles song in your opinion?
Hey jude

2013. Why do you suppose that diary sites are more popular with females than males?
We like to write things down

2014. What do these color combinations remind you of:

orange and pink: an ice cream

pink and green: nothing

green and gold: make up
purple and gold: make up

gold and red: winter

red and white: geisha

blue and grey: sky

2015. What is one selfish thing you tend to do?
Its all about me

2016. When do you think technology will catch up with the Jetson's?
never i hope

2017. What made you laugh today?
My dad

2018. Do you ever stick your entries in any of the diary circles?
How do you mean?

2019. Can you freestyle rap?
no

2020. Are you:

stylish? No, more of a wannabe

shiek? no

smart? average

2021. Do you find you self only buying brand name products?
yes

2022. Would you ever want to buy an article of clothing or an acessory because you saw a celebrity wear it?
yes

2023. What song do you feel the sexiest dancing to?
I never feel sexy while dancing

2024. Who do you know who looks silly when they dance?
wioleta

2025. Sweaty sex or clean sex?
Both is good

2026. Which is more important to you: being kind or being right?
Being right haha
2027. Can you do any special dances like swing, tap, or ballroom?
no

2028. Are you scared of monsters?
yes

2029. Who would you like to remind people of?
noone

2030. Do you walk to school or do you bring your lunch?
I dont go to school no more

2031. Rate your skills from one to ten (10 = you are the best at it):

socializing: 5

making friends: 7

working with computers: 5

arts: 6

crafts: 7

dancing: 5

skating: 2

talking other people into things: 5

writing: 4

living life to the fullest each day: 4

cooking: 4

gardening: 3

cleaning up after yourself: 9

playing poker: 1

surviving in the woods: 3

managing your time: 5

attracting the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer)? 5


2032. Have you ever been to an indian reservation?
no

2033. What is going to happen tommorrow that you can celebrate, even if it's a little thing?
I start school woohoo!!

2034. Do you save things for special occassions or is everyday a special occassion?
Yes i do

2035. What is one thing you are terrible at:
singing

2036. What's your favorite:

rap song: --

country song: anything from the dixie chicks

industrial song:

cover song: i just heard this awesome paula abdul cover

punk song: anything anti-flag

odd song: -


2037. What do you get your teacher or your boss for the holidays?
candles

2038. Do you like to read books by Virgina Wolfe?
Never have

2039. What is your favorite tv show from when you were a kid?
Punky brewster

2040. What is now proved was once only imagined. - William Blake.

What do you imagine? Word peace

2041. What has been passed down through at least two generations to you?
Nothing.

2042. Do we live in a particularly bad age for romance?
yes

2043. Have you ever cheated on someone?
No

Do you believe that once someone is a cheater they can never be trusted?
no

2044. Have you ever gone:

christmas caroling? no

pumpkin picking? no

on a hay wagon ride? no

on a romantic valentine's day date? no

to a new year's eve party? yes

to a memorial day parade? no

to the Macy's thanksgiving day parade? no

to search for gold coins on st patrick's day? no

2045. Have you ever done any modeling?
no

2046. Would you consider yourself to be psychologically damaged?
yes

2047. How aware are you of the reasons behind your actions and words?
Somewhat aware

2048. What is the sickest you ever drank or drugged yourself?
Oh lord, i rather not think about it

2049. Would you prefer it if clothing was optional?
no

2050. What is one interesting fact about you:
i really am not that interesting

2051. Are more people depressed because they are alone, or are more people alone because they are depressed?
Alone because they are depressed

2052. Have you ever gotten a mug, t-shirt, key chain, etc. that was personalized with your picture?
yes

2053. What was the last thing that you experienced for the first time?
Becoming an aunt.
2054. If you were going to die tomorrow and you were leaving a postcard for someone to read after you were gone what would it say?
Enjoy life and dont mourn me nomore

2055. If you were about to be executed what would your last request be?
To let me live.

2056. What kinds of people do you find intimidating?
Scary people

2057. How much conviction do you have in your feelings and beliefs?
Alot.

2058. In your house where is the:

crazy glue? ---

flashlight? I have on en every room

2059. Out of everyone you know who has the most personality?
martino

2060. If you could go back in time to experince a musical movement or era, which one would you choose to live through?
woodstock

2061. Do you suffocate people with your love?
I hope not

2062. Do you feel your life is charmed?
no

2063. What character do you identify the most with from Winnie the Pooh?
winnie

2064. When do you do your best thinking?
At night

2065. What motivates you?
Proving people wrong

2066. Look back at all the people you've dated. Has there been a pattern?
No none actually

2067. Things change but what will always remain the same for you?
My eyes

2068. Is divorce something you would ever consider or do you feel that marriage is permanantly binding?

It should be a permanent binding

2069. What's the strangest movie you ever saw?
I love you beth cooper

2070. If you could go into virtual reality and set up your life there to be perfect and it would seem real but not be real would you trade your life now for the virtual life?
No.

2071. Does it seem like life is more difficult for you than for anyone else?
yes

2072. What are you grateful for?
My friends

2073. What was a choice that you didn't want to make but you had to?
To go back or not.

2074. Have you ever had dental surgery?
no

2075. At what point exactly are you grown up?
I dont know

2076. If there was a weightloss procedure that would destroy your ability to taste food so you wouldn't be tempted by junk food, would you have it done?
maybe

2077. What is one thing that happened that you never expected?
I did what i had said id never do.

2078. If you called one of your friends and they said "It's nothing personal but I don't want to talk to anyone right now," would you take it personally?
no

2079. What is your favorite girl's name?
I love ainhoa

2080. Do you ever feel guilty for being more fortunate then others?
no

2081. If you had to wear a shirt with one word on it for a year, what word would you choose?
smile

2082. What is evian spelled backwards?
naive

2083. You drop 10 pounds of feathers and a ten pound bowling ball off the top of the same building. Which will hit the ground first?
The bowling ball

2084. Even though you may never get what you want, are you happy because you're trying?
yes

2085. If you started a petition what would it be about?
Saving trees

2086. When was the last time you asked someone to do something and they said no?
Today.

2087. Do bad things happen to you on friday the 13th?
no

2088. What's your favorite:

Madonna song? cherish

John Lennon song? imagine

Michael Jackson song? Who is it?

Doors song? -

Rolling Stones song? -

David Bowie song?

Elvis song? Love me tender

2089. If you had started a relationship with someone and they said that it would be best if no one knew about it just to see how it goes, would you be offended?
yes

2090. Do you know any self defence?
no

How about CPR?
yes

2091. If you had to look into a mirror and see your naked soul stripped of all delusions and pretenses (Never ending Story style)could you handle it?
Maybe not

2092. Are you a genius?
no
 

2093. How did you find out that Santa Clause wasn't real?
He is real.

2094. Which is your favorite tarot card?
----

2095. Does the internet seperate people or connect them?
connect

2096. Have you ever written a letter to a soldier?
no

2097. Does pain and fear make you feel alive?
yes

2098. Are you:

good looking? average

thin? no

happy? Yes and no

successful? Not yet

confident? Not enough

2099. Are you deciseive or wishy washy?
both

2100. Do you feel pop stars should be morally responsible to set a good example for their fans?

no