Info About Poker Card Reader

As we discussed in Part One of “Poker Face(s)”, profiling other players in poker is a necessary skill that you must master in order to maximize profits and minimize losses.  The same applies when you fly; however, you have no control over  the brilliant decisions of the TSA or Homeland Security, where, after all, only life and limb are at stake.  In poker, we are talking about your pocketbook, so pay attention! 

N.B.:  As usual, we offer the following with the caveat that it is totally and completely politically incorrect and will probably offend most of you; and also, that you follow these tips at your own peril, this advise being offered completely as entertainment.

With this in mind, we continue our review of predictable and recognizable personality types you are bound to meet at any poker table, anywhere, sooner or later. Here we go:

The Asian High Roller:  It is a well-known fact that Asians as a group love to gamble; word is, unlike in Western culture, there is no stigma whatsoever to betting the farm and losing your ass in this part of the world.  Therefore, you will always find kaboodles of Asians at any poker table, and they are not a timid lot.  Apparently, they were weaned on mama’s breast while she threw dice into the wok; they seem to love action more than a pimp on Fremont Street.  As we also know, this is the only part of the world that is benefitting from the current global economic crisis, so they actually have some money to burn.  Interestingly, although Chinese, Vietnamese and Koreans are always well-represented, in my many years of play, I can’t recall ever seeing a single Japanese person at any poker table anywhere.  This is one of the great mysteries of  life that I intend to explore, as soon as I get through the 65 Post-Its on my kitchen counter.  Anyway, these players are easy to recognize because they wear jade like it’s a mandatory dress code criteria, and anything less than 23K gold is not worth the effort of putting on cufflinks to them.

How to Play Them: You’re going to have to tighten up and pick your spots cautiously against these crazy action junkies.  They want to be in most pots, and they love to gamble.  They are also not stupid; hey, they figured out how to make billions selling us lead-based toxic crap, didn’t they?  So beware their phony smiles and their horribly nicotine-stained teeth; they are out to clean your clock.

The Asian Kamikaze Broad:  This is a subset of the category above.  Also dripping in jade and that very yellow gold, she is even more aggressive and whacked out than her male counterpart.  Whatever you’re used to in female players, she will blow your wallet so far out of the water, you may have to call a janitor to get it down from the ceiling for you.  Probably, she is the most aggressive player you will ever meet at a poker table, period.  Put on your bulletproof vest, and handle the hits as best you can, brother.

How to Play Them:  She respects nothing, and no one.  She’s learned how to dominate the Asian male player above, so take that under advisement.  You’re in the Wild West with this crazy broad, whether you’re a guy or a girl.  God help you, and make sure your mortgage is paid up before you sit down.

The Russian Mafia Killer:  You’re probably thinking, wow, that’s a little harsh, isn’t it?  Heck no!  This dude was flown in by the Russian Syndicate and either just whacked or is about to whack someone who hasn’t been keeping up on their payments to the boys.  He has no warmth anywhere in his body, and looks at you with those ice blue peepers with not a trace of humor or interest.  Probably, he’s a sociopathic killer, if you want to know what the FBI would have to say about him in his dossier. 

How to Play Them:  I am about as fearless a woman as you will ever meet at the poker tables, so consider my words when I tell you, don’t fuck with this guy.  He is utterly humorless and your humanity is meaningless to him.  My advice is, don’t talk to him, and don’t beat him in a pot, no matter what.  ‘Nuff said.

The Arab Potentate:  This guy will most likely be dressed in Western garb, but don’t let that fool you.  Even though he’s made millions off the back of the Western world, he still hates your guts.  He may be polite, but that’s just a front.  Ok, he’s probably not a Jihadist, and doesn’t have an Uzi under his jacket, but he is Muslim and isn’t supposed to be in Vegas, gambling and whoring, according to the Koran. The fact that he’s loving every minute of it just makes him hate you more.

How to Play Them:   He made it through four airport checkpoints coming from Bahrain or the UAE (in fact he probably flew in on his own Lear), and now he sits there, daring you to profile him.  Go right ahead, he’s very predictable.  If you’re a woman, especially a Western woman, a blonde, or anyone who dresses sexy, he is so torn between his lust for you and his desire to bury you in sand and stone you, he will simply try to take you down in any pot you are in.  Use this to your advantage.  And take comfort in knowing, if you’re at the Wynn or the Venetian in Vegas, they actually have bomb-sniffing dogs walking around, so you’re on much safer ground than say, Detroit International. 

The Humorless Scandie Kid: You can spot this kid because he is a) skinny b) has the weirdest haircut you’ve seen since Billy Ray Cyrus and c) is dressed in bizarre clothes that rival only the Japanese rich kids in odd wardrobe elements thrown together.  He speaks English quite well, minus the colloquialisms, yet has absolutely no sense of humor about anything.  He also throws off fewer pheremones than a koala, making you wonder how these Vikings have perpetuated themselves for the past million or so years.  Maybe you have to be another Scandie kid to pick up the scent.

How to Play Them:  They’re from Scandinavia, for gawd’s sakes; they have absolutely nothing to do but sit inside, drink Absolut and play internet poker for 9/10ths of the year.  Plus, being such a homogeneous culture, they are about as interesting as a copy of Atlantic Monthly.  Their play is completely math-based; they have no game otherwise.  Oh yeah, so that Dane Peter Eastgate won a few years ago, whatever.  He was so dull on ESPN along with the young Russkie, they actually shortened the broadcast.  I rest my case.

The Good Ol’ Boy: This red-faced, pot-bellied guy probably drove in with the RV from Arkansas or Texas, and he is just chomping at the bit to play some poker and down a few more beers. He left his Smith and Wessons in the gun rack on the cab in the pickup truck he trailed in too; and although he appears “hail-fellow-well-met,” it will quickly turn to sullen sulking when you beat him in a few pots.  If you are a woman, he will invariably call you “Darlin” and try to flirt if you are halfway attractive.  Sometimes these guys don’t actually realize the Civil War is over; probably cause they don’t read much.

How to Play Them:  This guy mostly plays in some wild illegal “home” games, the kind that have professional dealers and armed bodyguards and a standard law enforcement payola system in place.  He knows how to play, but sometimes he gets a little action-happy and stays in too long or at the wrong time.  You’ll have to study him a bit and guage his experience level for yourself; don’t be confused by the fact that he probably didn’t get past the tenth grade  and has never held a copy of The New York Times.  He is a country kind of street-smart, and poker is in his bloodlines. Pay attention.

The Country Club Player: This type is very easy to spot, as he is a minimum of 75 years old and wears a pink polo shirt and plaid pants, because he is teeing off in a couple of hours and just getting some poker in to pass the time.  He has a weekly game down at the club in Boca, where the boys typically chip in $100-500 each, and winner takes all.  He has seen more hands in his lifetime than a pitcher’s mitt, and hasn’t gotten this old being a dummy.  He may not be Mr. Personality, but he probably won’t offend anyone either. 

How to Play Them:  He may look like Gramps, but he’s really a tough old coot, and smarter than he appears.  Remember, he wasn’t always this old.  Back in the day, he probably had a few girls on the side till the Missus found out about it; and he probably made his money being quite savvy in the business world.  Give him some respect, he’s definitely earned it.

There you have it, kids.  I don’t know where else you will find this valuable information but right here in “A Blonde’s Guide to Poker.” I’m here for you.   And don’t forget to play safe poker, except when you want to have a good time and actually enjoy the experience.  Like other things in life.  Tata for now.

Having teak tables in your home is like owning a piece of natural art. You no doubt have found yourself looking at the grain of the wood and its rich appearance and wondering where it came from and how it managed to become the teak tables you now have in your home.

Teak has a long history of being used for ornate pieces of furniture and decorations as well as practical uses in construction. Initially teak was the wood of choice to use for boats since the material is exceedingly strong and resilient. It holds up to the water and wear of the sea with little impact, due to its naturally oil-heavy qualities. In many countries, teak was the wood of choice for outdoor benches with some of the benches in English parks that were created almost a hundred years ago, still in use today.

The fact that this wood is so oil-rich also means it is extremely heavy. That led to a problem in getting the teak from the spot where the trees were growing in Asia to the artisan shops where they would be worked into becoming teak tables and other furniture pieces. Luckily, these areas had a strong workforce of elephants. These elephants were trained to pull the teak trees from the jungles where they were growing and stack them during one day. At the end of the day, these well-trained pachyderms would hear a bell and know their work was done. Another day, they would have to take on the second part of the job, getting the teak to the coast. While traditional pieces of wood are often floated down rivers, this can't be done with teak. The wood is so dense it will sink, and be lost.

So, the elephants were put back to work, dragging log after log through the forest until they reached the coastline. Once there, the pieces of teak could be used for ship building, repair or be loaded up to be taken to the shops where they would be turned into teak tables and other pieces of furniture.

There was also another possible use of teak wood, in a place of honor. This is visible in some of the old temples that are still standing in China and Thailand. The pillars to hold up these temples were made of teak, and while in many cases the masonry and other portions of the temples have fallen apart, the teak has been able to withstand the test of time and is still erect.

This also supports the reason many people choose ornate teak tables and other pieces as a family heirloom, knowing they will be able to pass down through generations and not wear down and fall apart over time.

The next time you contemplate your teak tables, you may want to consider that long after you and many other members of your family have passed, they will still be living on, as a legacy to the place where the family once gathered.

About the Author:

Jesse Akre offers insight on beautiful
teak patio furniture
,
garden benches
, and
teak furniture
.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Teak Tables - Just Like A Piece Of Art

Nate Berkus Glass Top Tree Table